On becoming a dad!
Just over 2 weeks and 4 days early, our little guy decided that he'd done his time and was ready to come join us. In that moment, literally everything that i’d always thought i'd be afraid of actually came to fruition and was lying there in front of me in all his pink, naked, sticky skinned glory. I was (and still am) in total awe of him in every possible way.
I had a son. I was a father.
Stoked doesn't really cover it... I was in complete and utter shock and emotional euphoria.Flashback about nine months or so, and to the point where we found out that we were pregnant... Bec and I made the conscious decision to not find out what flavour we were having (we wanted the surprise, and would do it the same way again if we decide that we would like to add a second offspring to our fleet).
From what the midwives have told us (and because of my very, very limited knowledge of childbirth) our labour was relatively short in comparison to other first time mothers. In the space of just over 10 hours, she had things prodded into her and pulled out of her that I can't imagine I'd ever been able to deal with. However, Bec did a thoroughly amazing and incredible job throughout the entire pregnancy (despite setbacks and moments that I don't think I could've ever dealt with), during the labour, after the birth and every minute ever since. It was quite honestly one of the most terrifying yet amazing experiences that I've ever witnessed.
Baxter is our first child and personally, my experience with babies was slim to none. I had no real idea what to expect from the pregnancy, the labour and once born. Genuinely no clue whatsoever!
Much to my wife’s concern during pregnancy, I didn’t read too many articles or books about birth and babies (well, except for ‘Dummy’ by the guy behind ‘Man vs Baby’ — if you don’t know him, check him out, he’s great value!), but I actually think that’s a good thing.As a new dad, I feel things towards my son that I never thought possible, things that I never thought I would ever feel. I want to be open with my children, I want them to love freely, I want them to experience life in ways that didn't exist when I was a lad. I want them to dream their lives in a way that doesn’t stop breathing, see the lights, the people, the noises, the train, the ignorance, the attitudes, swallow all of it each day and remember how fortunate they are.
As soppy as this sounds, I’ve found a new reason for being. I hold the little chubber in my arms, and he melts me. Full, 100% adoration. Things that I used to think mattered, just wash over me and things that I used to spend far too much time second-guessing and dwelling on have practically disappeared and all I want to do absolutely everything for this little guy. I melted at the thought that I may not be able to provide him with all of the riches and pay outright for his education, and then just burst into tears. And yes, I understand how ridiculous that sounds.
Cannot thank the midwives, paediatricians, doctors and health visitors that we've seen over the past few weeks enough. Without them, Preston has been absolutely phenomenal; unwaveringly encouraging and patient. They're immensely under-staffed and over-worked, but they do a wonderful job.
🡐 Older NoteConiston
Newer Note 🡒Isle of Dogs